I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
