Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
