no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
