What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize