i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
