I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
