can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
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