This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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