why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
