Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize