On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
there is puke in my bra ... again
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