Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
