i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
