Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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