I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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