I like to think it a success when the cops are called
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I need water and some morals
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
