You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
