your room smells of hookers.
And success
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
