sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
