i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
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