Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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