R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
