I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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