It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
