God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
