Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
