this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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