Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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