if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
There's always time for handjobs
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
