Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
