Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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