Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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