Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
