sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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