You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize