On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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