why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
