no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
