i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
