I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
