So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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