What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Ladies don't puke and tell
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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