Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize