I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
