And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Randomize
