I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
she told me i tasted like america
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm getting married
To pizza
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize