Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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