Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
