I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
