Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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