I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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