Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
