I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
