Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."

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(256): View more from Alabama

I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number

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(815): View more from Illinois

my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves

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(303): View more from Colorado

You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...

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(248): View more from Michigan

You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.

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(517): View more from Michigan

No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight

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