just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
