dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
