Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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