That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
