she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
