There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
