addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
