I queefed so loud it echoed.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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