Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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