wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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