she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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