based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
