So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i think i have herpe
just one?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
