We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
This is the high leading the old right now
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
