It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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