Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
should my penis look like a turkey
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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