drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
