Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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