moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
